the new you

The new you after the shattering is not the same person you were before the shattering. Your new normal is most likely quite different from what you looked like, both emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes we find ourselves to be more introverted and introspective. We may be more sensitive to crowds and want to be alone. The energy of others can be so exhausting when we have our own needs to attend to, and that’s ok. When we are broken open by a devastating loss, our whole perspective on what is important tends to change dramatically. Many times our friends just can’t relate and we find solace in making new friends, others who have gone through similar losses. We find we need to avoid triggers of our grief. So learn to say No, and say it without guilt. Don’t feel bad about avoiding family gatherings, or weddings, or funerals, or even the grocery store, or whatever it is that is just too hard at this time. You may need to sleep more, or sleep less. But the point here is this. You are not the same person you were before your loved one left. How could you be? A part of you in the physical is gone. Now you need to learn to find your way in your new normal life without your loved one here. The more you can let go of the old you and embrace the new you that includes your loved one in spirit, the more peace you can start to feel in your heart. And maybe, just maybe this will help you find the strength you need to love the new you.