pain vs. suffering

The pain is in wanting what we can’t have because our loved one is no longer here in the physical. We pine and search for them where they no longer are existing, here with us now. But in the real reality they are here with us, just not as we want them to be. If we can just shift our focus to the present moment and be open to the possibility that we can continue our relationship with them differently, a bit of peace can take place. I have heard it said that “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” Perhaps the pain we feel when we suffer a devastating loss is our physical reaction to the trauma. This is very normal and totally expected. We are designed as humans to feel pain when we are hurt. However, we get to decide how much this pain will cause us to suffer. For each individual this is going to be different, for no two people experience grief in the same way. I love this quote by Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” If we can take even the smallest actions to reduce our suffering, while honoring and owning our pain, it can help us to bring back a sense of personal power, in our world that has been so turned upside down.