mending

When something is broken, our natural reaction is to fix it. When something is lost, we go searching to find it. When someone is hurt, we want to heal them. But when we are grieving for our loved one, we can’t fix it or find it or heal it. It’s a hurt that has forever changed us to our core. The true definition of healing is putting something back together again as it was before. For example, when we break a bone, we put it into a cast to give it time to heal back together whole. We know all too well that in grief, we are never ever going to be put back together the same way we were before our loved one left. We can’t be the same again, how could we? However, I like to say that I am mending. The definition of mending is putting something in working order again. I am putting the pieces of my life back together in a new way. I will never ever be the same as I was before my son left. But, I am working hard to find my way to be in working order, to find my soul point of view, and to make my pain have a purpose. Just coming to an acceptance that it’s OK to be mending, one day at a time at our own pace, alleviates the pressure to be ever fully healed from our grief. Our grief will be with us for the rest of our lives, but I promise, mending is possible.