giving thanks

The days leading up to a holiday like Thanksgiving can be extremely difficult when one is in grief. Usually the time can be filled with lots of anxiety and trepidation. We often wonder how we will be able to get through the day when our hearts are so heavy missing our loved one. I have found over the years, that there is truly no right or wrong way to maneuver. We need to allow ourselves the grace to handle the day in however we feel we need to, to cope. For some, it may be to just ignore the day all together and make a new tradition. Sometimes being around family and friends is just too hard. For others, being around family and friends is just what is needed for extra emotional support. Perhaps making our loved one a part of the day can be helpful and healing. I always set a picture of my son from his last Thanksgiving here on the dinner table to make me feel like he is included in the meal time. Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday, so it is always a bittersweet day for me. Maybe you can make a dish that was your loved ones favorite to bring along to share. Remembering and honoring our loved one with favorite stories can help too. You can suggest going around the dinner table and have everyone say what they loved the most about your loved one, or tell a funny story about them. Over the years, I have been able to shift to remembering the Thanksgivings from the past with more love than pain. If you are grieving for your loved one in spirit, know you are not alone. If we can remember to give thanks for the wonderful memories that we did have together, it can help soften the pain. Gratitude and giving thanks for our loved ones, even if they left too soon, reminds us what a gift it was to have them in our lives.